Entry 2: That time Aryn attended her first support group

This morning was my first time attending the support group that Unity Point puts on that is "free" (i.e. paid with through program fees).  It is a requirement that you go to at least one group meeting prior to surgery and it is available to you for life (as are the nutritionists and exercise physiologists).  

I sat in the back row with other newcomers.  I don't do small talk well.  I can force myself to do it, I can fake it pretty good sometimes, but mostly I feel incredibly awkward and uncomfortable.  So, I took my place in the back and people-watched until the group began.  I'd say there were probably....100 or so people in attendance.  

One of the two bariatric surgeons presents information each time and the second half of this meeting was led by a panel of post-surgery patients, ranging from 4-months to 19-months post-op.  

I was surprised to find myself inspired by the panel members.  I guess I had my last weight watchers leader in mind, so when I walked in the room and was expecting people to be chanting "Nothing tastes better than skinny feels" to which I was ready to respond with a kick to their face, yelling "FALSE!! ICE CREAM TASTES BETTER."  Instead, the panel leaders were down-to-earth, realistic, and clearly had a past peppered with struggles similar to most of us in the "crowd".  Two men on the panel, who looked like marathon runners to me, got teary so of course I GOT teary, which is never good.  Their "before" pictures were shown and I couldn't believe all they had accomplished.  One person had different orthopedic problems than me, but similar in how the problems had completely shut him down physically and he articulated how the surgery gave him a new life he didn't know was possible.  

All I could think was, "I want that, too."  It was interesting to hear their battles since their surgeries.  Most I had read about online, but it was good to hear it "live" from people. 

I learned that people who established habits before surgery such as walking every day, drinking 64 oz or more of water every day, practiced portion measuring, etc. could handle the emotional aspect of post-surgery life better.  A couple of weeks ago, I bought myself a diet journal, walking shoes, and resistance bands from, so hearing the message of "start habits NOW" motivated me to get organized and get going.  

I was glad to hear stories and see progress, but it did make me nervous a little...what if something falls through with my insurance and I can't get it done...I will be really disappointed.  

I think next time I won't sit in the back row.  I'll coach myself into the middle.  Perhaps I'll meet someone who has wisdom they are willing to freely give.